Quality, Overwhelm & Choice Paralysis – How we help mitigate it

Disclaimer: This is from a Lady’s perspective

We dug deep into the female territory and their responses were as expected. Citing some below

For men, it’s is like dying of thirst in the desert. Not a drop of water in sight. For women, it’s like dying of thirst in the ocean. Water is everywhere but it’s mostly toxic and full of salt.
I’ve personally seen someone get 100+ likes within 7hrs
That is men blindly swiping on all profiles coming into their feeds. Ask your friend how many of them she likes. it will be less than five. High in number of swipes doesn’t mean, quality in them.

In summary, the primary complaints revolve around the scarcity of quality profiles and an excess of matches. Addressing these issues will necessitate a mix of changes in personality and behavior, complemented by features on the platform.

Further Read: Comments from Women

As a woman that used dating apps, take my 2 cents.

The male to female ratio is very skewed on dating apps due to which women get an overwhelming amount of matches.

A lot of creeps.

A lot of men don’t know how to talk properly to women without being awkward or creepy.

Asking for phone numbers/ dates on the first day/ week itself is a pet peeve (Some women don’t find an issue with this). There is no way I’m sharing personal information with a random guy that I met on the internet on the first day.

Not taking rejection/ No’s in a mature way. So some people simply ghost to avoid this.

Not being upfront about their intentions. Their excuse is if they say they’re looking for something casual, they don’t get many matches(?).

As someone mentioned old cows (to refer to older women) here, I’ve also come across older, married men who act extra creepy.

Men hiding their relationship status.

Despite all these, men will blabber about validation, women look for only looks, gold digger etc.

If you’re looking for something serious, the chances are slim to none!

Nobody is getting what they are expecting be it women or men.

Getting too many matches, too many choices is always an issue. We are getting confused on whom to look for. Fundamentally I feel dating apps have a lot of issues. At the end nobody is getting what they are expecting be it women or men. But without dating apps, there is a fundamental problem of discovery also.

We could keep the distance as less than 1 km and still get hundreds of likes.

Two of my friends got 3,000+ likes in three days! They could keep the distance as less than 1 km and still get hundreds of likes. I’m sure that Girls who are on these apps in search of real relations and not for validation will get overwhelmed with the guys in DM and will delete the app in no time

Men swipe blindly, sometimes even the profile is not complete.

Every swipe is a match because most men swipe blindly so we don’t even know who is genuinely interested. The ones who we match with can’t hold a conversation without being creepy.

Times have changed; women know they want and deserve better.

Technically, it’s the same for everyone. Just because you get matches doesn’t mean the quality is good. Gender ratio makes a difference; men, with no safety concerns, often swipe blindly, while women, with safety in mind, are careful when swiping. There are many married men and couples in open relationships and marriages exploring physical intimacy and emotional intimacy individually and as a couple looking for single folks from all genders. It’s is too common and normal.

If you’re a guy seeking advice, finding matches tough, here’s my two cents: Times have changed; women know they want and deserve better. Step up your game. Invest in yourself and your life. Be a better person emotionally, physically, and financially. Talk and listen. If you don’t know learn. Avoid pucham , work on your ego issues. If you don’t know learn. Groom yourself mentally physically. Have hobbies and interests. Explore new interests. Take pics , good ones and make a good profile. Be respectful genuine and kind. All of the above will increase your self esteem in all areas of your life. Level up and raise your standards.

Not just the fault of men, women need to improve on their skills too.

Yeah, these are all facts. Many men don’t know how to talk to women. But I do have to point out that a lot of women also don’t know how to talk. Like c’mon, if u are using a dating app, u should also be willing to strike up a conversation.

For guys, only the top 10 percent actually find anything out of a dating app

For women, dating apps do what they are supposed to do. endless matches everyday, it’s the ultimate place for validation. thirsty dudes everywhere with no control and standards will keep on trying to match with them. Almost every woman has the same experience, unless you’re so damn ugly even the ugly dudes don’t want you. For guys, only the top 10 percent actually find anything out of a dating app. This top 10% check out for all the wants of women on those apps- height, overall attractiveness etc. if you’re not physically attractive, not much success is there for you, since these dating apps can only show you the physical features of a person. you can have the best personality, but if you don’t have that charm factor, you ain’t passing the first level of matching with the woman. I’m not saying only the very good looking guys find love on there, but this is what generally happens. Even these good looking guys aren’t there for love, they know that they are good looking so why would they settle for some girl on a dating app? Usually they’re only looking for sex.

The core of these issues often stems from ingrained mindsets and societal upbringing, which individuals must personally reflect upon and evolve from.

Improving your Charisma: If you want to stand out and be valued in the dating scene, here’s the key: focus on enhancing your inherent worth. Your attractiveness significantly increases when you consistently bring something valuable to the table. And here’s the kicker – this principle isn’t limited to dating; it’s relevant to your professional circle and friends as well. In essence, improve your abilities and contributions to excel in various dating contexts!

Platform provision: We have implemented various measures and limitations on our platform to address these concerns as effectively as possible..

Quality of Profiles

We only accept members through rigorous screening, ensuring that the majority of low-quality profiles are eliminated before they gain access to the platform.

Once on boarded, there is a continuous evaluation process. Various factors are considered to determine the trust score of a profile. A higher Trust Score grants more privileges, but misuse will result in a decrease in the score. Thus, maintaining a balance is crucial.

Additionally, we offer optional orientation guides designed to bridge the expectation gap between genders. These guides are developed based on survey responses by experts.

Limiting the Matches

We have implemented a two-fold approach to mitigate overwhelm:

Firstly, you can set a minimum Trust score for the profiles that wish to connect with you, allowing you to filter matches according to your standards. It’s important to note that a basic threshold is already in place for anyone using the platform.

Secondly, a user is limited to connecting with a specific number of profiles, followed by a cool-down period before they can match again. This encourages users to be more selective, aiming for meaningful connections. Importantly, this limitation cannot be bypassed with money or a premium subscription.

“Affinity finds the right matches for me, so I don’t feel overwhelmed. I really appreciate how efficiently the app suggests people who think alike.”

Anonymous Kingfisher

Works at PSB